SuccessISMs by Kevin Riles

Concentrate on the Process NOT the Prize

I had a thought today that I wanted to make more money this year. As I sat down and thought how much more, I got to thinking about how stressed we sometimes get trying to reach a goal. As I started to think how I could increase my business and what I could do to increase my services so that I made more money per transaction, I realized that with just a few adjustments to "the how" of my business I could increase my income by 20%. "The How" is the process. If I just paid more attention to the process I could reach my goal easily.

What if we just concentrated on making the process our priority instead of the prize. Whatever the prize is; A new job, Making more money, losing weight, having a better relationship. All of these goals (prizes) are great but I think we spend to much waisted time and stress on the goal and don't concentrate enough on the process (steps that get us to the goal). If your goal is to get a new job, then you should be concentrating on your resume, networking, and your interview skills which entail the process of obtaining new position. If your goal is to lose weight, your concentration should not be on the scale but on the exercise and diet steps. If you are a business owner or in sales (and we all are in some form or fashion) you should be concentrating on Dollar Productive Activities(DPA's) every day.   DPA's are activities that will increase your client base and thereby eventually make you more money. DPA's are the most important part of the process for most business owners and sales people. Don't spend all day returning email if thats keeping you from meeting new potential clients.  Remember those that perfect the art of the process are eventually seperated from those who do not.

As you set your next goal, don't just write down what the goal is. Make sure you spend some time and write down the steps you need to take to reach that goal. Once that's done, concentrate on the steps, not the goal. If you keep your eyes on the process, the PRIZE will come.

The Irresistible Urge to Quit

It is so EASY to quit. I mean I can't tell you the number of times that I, Mr. Motivation, have just quit a task or my efforts toward a goal. I was reflecting today on why Quiting was so easy? What makes it so tempting? I was trying to find a word that really described how you feel when you want to quit and the first thing that came to mind was Irresistible! That's right, Quitting  feels like it is impossible to resist. The Websters definition of irresistible: Impossible to Resist. That's how it feels! When you are running that mile or saving that money or working toward that promotion, there comes a time when your mind tells you to just quit. You know you have heard it: Its too hard; Its going to take too long; I don't feel like it, etc. My brother in law calls it "having the baby come out in you". You know when a baby or a child doesn't want to do something so they start to whine and cry.

As I reflected on Quiting today, I had an amazing thought... What if we had the Irresistible Urge to Persevere. What if we were in a constant state of Quit and our minds were programed to persevere. WOW! Think about it. That means that whatever you put your mind to, you would achieve it or die! Quiting would not be in your vocabulary. As I thought more about persevering, I realized that really we ARE programmed to persevere from the very beginnings of our lives. Unfortunately, some time between childhood and becoming an adult, we get "reprogrammed" to think otherwise. Don't Believe Me? Watch a toddler or a child under 5 years old trying to climb something or put a puzzle together. There is no question that if you watch them long enough they have an irresistible urge to persevere. They keep trying and trying until they get so frustrated that they cry. It is only then that a caring parent comes over and tries to help them or tells them the task is too hard (i.e. programing them with the urge to quit because the task is too great).

You see I believe and have witnessed successful people who have rediscovered their urge to persevere. How? It's going to sound too simple: They make a conscious decision to NOT QUIT. So the next time the irresistible urge to quit comes up... Make a conscious decision to PERSEVERE! PERSEVERING IS IRRESISTIBLE TO!

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Slow and Steady Wins the Race! Do you really believe that? All of us have read Aesop's Fable of the Tortus and the Hair. The moral of that fable is that slow and steady wins the race. As much as I hate to admit it, Lately I have found this to be very much so true. I am a very goal oriented person. I set goals and I become consumed in not only achieving those goals but achieving them very quickly. I have noticed over the last couple of years that I have be extremely unrealistic in my goal setting in terms of time.

As an example, let's say I set a goal to loose 70 pounds. I would give myself 6 months to do it. Now the question becomes "Can I lose 70 pounds in 6 months?" The answer to the question is of course I can. I really believe that anything you set your mind to you can achieve. However, there is a follow up question... Is that time frame realistic for me in terms of achieving all of the other goals I have set for myself? Sometimes the answer to that question is NO. By saying no, its not that I don't think I will achieve the goal. It is saying that in context of everything else I am working towards that I don't think the time frame I have given myself is realistic.

You might ask,"What's the problem with setting aggressive time limits on your goals?" Well here is what happens... You start putting undo pressure on yourself to complete the goal and when you don't reach it in the time frame you have given yourself, the negativity of not reaching it pours over into other goals you have set for your self. Let's say you only lost 20 pounds in 6 months and your other goals were to save 10,000 for a new home in 1 year. If you only lost the 20 pounds in the 6 months alloted but still have 6 months to go on your savings goal, your mind tends to give you false hope on reaching the 2nd goal. You tend to subconsciously get down on yourself and not keep up with your savings goal. Also remember that You did loose 20 pounds. In other words, you are still better off that you were when you set your original goal.

So as you set your goals for the day, month, year. Make sure you spend some time reflecting on how much time its going to take to reach your goal. Don't set your deadlines haphazardly. Remember... Slow and Steady Wins the Race!!!

Getting Back to the Basics

As I write this its the last day of the year. It is a time we usually reflect on the previous years accomplishments and disappointments in addition to looking forward to the upcoming year. As I reflect back on my year over the last couple of days, there is a theme that consistently rings in my head... Overwhelmed/Noisy/Too Much to do. As I thought of these things I wanted to enter the new year with a different theme. Not necessarily a resolution because I think we all do new years resolutions and by Jan. 5th we have not kept up with them. So my theme for the new year is "Getting Back to the Basics!"

What are the Basics? They are different for different people. My basics are spending time with my family, motivational/inspirational speaking, writing, and watching & playing sports. Yours might be quite different. Just think... If everyday you got up you worked within the space of just getting back to YOUR basics, how much better life you would lead. When I expressed this idea to some friends of mine some of them were like, "Yeah, that would be great but unrealistic. I have to work and provide for my family." Who says you can't do both? Who says that your BASICS can't be apart of your everyday life? The question becomes HOW?

Honestly, I don't know the answer to that question for you. But what I do know is what you put energy into the most gives a result to you whether the result is desired or undesired. If you put all of your energy into a job you don't like, your result is stress and unhappiness. If you put all of your energy into your family, the result most likely is happiness in the sustained relationships you are cultivating. Remember, if you were to die today, you wouldn't be worrying if that project at work was completed. You would be wanting your family around you and wanting to make sure you had a lasting legacy in the world. 

So my friend, what are the basics for you?  Whatever they are, make sure you get back to them for the new year, or whatever time of the year you read this. This is a SAFE New Year's Resolution. In fact, I can guarantee that if you "GET BACK TO THE BASICS" you will lead a more fulfilled life!

Can't Get Right Syndrome...

One of my favorite movies is Eddie Murphy's LIFE. Not only is it gut bustin' funny but believe it or not is has some "life" lessons in it for all. My favorite character in the movie is Bokeem Woodbine's character, CAN'T GET RIGHT. First the name is just beyond funny. Just think what would happen if our names described our worst bad habit. Just think of all the names we would have. I could just hear it now, "Hey look there is Procrastination! " or " I was talking to my friend LAZY and she said she was just tired" Even better, what about my friend TOO TIRED ALL THE TIME.  But Can't Get Right Takes the cake.

Have you ever felt that's your name? Have you have felt like I just can't quite Get Right with my life  or my finances or myself or my family, etc. Sometimes in life we just can't seem to get right. All of us from time to time could have the same name "CAN"T GET RIGHT". How do we bring ourselves to overcome the "CAN'T GET RIGHT SYNDROME". I must admit this is one of my biggest personal battles on a daily basis. I have so much that I want to do in life and so many responsibilities, that some times I just don't have the mental and physical bandwidth to do it all. So my brain does what a computer does when all of its memory is full, it shuts down. However, we can learn from a computer. It may shut down when it get overloaded but it does REBOOT!. 

I have a computer science background. That is what my undergrad degree is in. However, with all my knowledge and expertise in computers, one thing I know is when a computer is not working; When all else fails, REBOOT!!! Turn it off and then back on and most times the problem goes away. So my question to all of you out there, all of my CAN'T GET RIGHT people, when is the last time you REBOOTED your computer. When is the last time you turned off and then turned back on?

How do you REBOOT?  First, you steal away by yourself. The great theologian Howard Thurman wrote that the moments where we get to know ourselves and get closer to GOD are the times when you are by ourselves with our thoughts. You have to take time to work IN yourself not just ON yourself. When you work IN yourself your spirit is quite and you are able to listen to your own thoughts and desires without the clutter that life can present.

Secondly, to REBOOT and stop being CAN"T GET RIGHT, you must always have a good sense of what your goal and purpose is. Not goals in terms of "I want to loose 10 pounds". But what is your purpose, what are you values? How do you want to live your life. What do you want people to say about you at your funeral. LIFE QUESTIONS! 

So my friend, CAN'T GET RIGHT! REBOOT!! And fix your computer so you can be known as CAN GET RIGHT!

May GOD Bless You and May everything You Touch Prosper...

Kevin Riles

In the beginning there was Invictus...

Well this is my first post to my new blog. I want to first thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say about success, the world, marketing or whatever else comes to my mind. I thought this to be important to share my thoughts with the world. Technology is a wonderful thing. It still amazes me to the advancements that have been made since I was a computer science major in college just 14 years ago.

I named my first blog "Invictus" for a reason. First, that poem has meant more to me in my life than any other set of words I can think of other than the bible. Invictus is Latin for "unconquerable". The poem is by William Earnest Henly. I had to learn it when I was pledging my fraternity. When you are a child you think as a child, but when you become a man you put away childish things. The reason I say that is when I first learned this poem, I just learned it for memorization and so I would not get in trouble pledging. But over the years the poem has become a mantra for me. It has come to be an affirmation for me when times are good and not so good. It's funny the power of words. How they can move the soul to joy and to sadness at the same time. As you can see from my Bio, I am a motivational speaker. I begin every speech I give with Invictus. I have often been asked why I do that. To be honest it's for selfish reasons. The poem excites me more than I think it does the audience. It does capture the audiences attention but I do it as an affirmation that "I have not winced nor cried allowed" or "My head is bloodied (by life) but unbowed".

To me that poem is the greatest literature every formulated on paper.  Those words have been so powerful to me that I have defined my life's mission around the meaning of the poem. My mission in life is to POSITIVELY effect the lives of people socially, economically and most importantly spiritually. In order to take on such a large task I must be Invictus. I must be unconquerable. 

So I hope that you come to enjoy my thoughts, my ideas and all the things I want to share with you. Most importantly though I want you to remember that you to are "INVICTUS!!"

Invictus
by William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed,

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.